hey, hey you! yeah you! you know i always want to talk, so can you realize something is wrong when i stop talking? i mean that just makes sense when the entire way i talk changes
now i still feel the same way, but how come this is so easy for me to deal with? not that i’m complaining but still, it’s really weird to me, i should feel different at least if i can deal with it, but i feel the same. maybe i grew up a little? naw, must just be one of those things where you find a reason to not be mad. maybe receiving texts first is one of the reasons, but then again, maybe it’s just because you are being such a good friend to me and helping, o wells. got an appointment tomorrow, not excited really
i’d like to dedicate this post to you, Happy 18th birthday, i hope it is a memorable one. you’ve made it this far in life, the sky is the limit, and you’re gonna soar. Congratulations on everything, you two are a lovely couple <3
why is it that i have to be this way? i care so fucking much and it kills me. i care more than i should and get hurt by so much you do. i just…
Dear Friend,
this might be the last letter i write for a while. it’s not because of you, it’s me. we both know it.
Love always,
Jesse T Diggs
i need help. but i’ve lost my words.
Love,
JTD
the one time i can relate to you.
i’m ready, depression, i’m ready, depression
and fyi i could tell you liked him bitch. this isn’t who i usually talk about by the way, this bitch i just forgave and FUCK HER. i’m not the perv… she was the one… that did stuff… i went through shit for her… and my best friend… fuck you… fuck everyone. FUCKING MORMON! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU GOT SO UPSET AT ME FOR SAYING WE WERE DONE, YOU TOLD MY BEST FRIEND YOU’RE MORE ATTRACTED TO HIM GO TO FUCKING HELL I HATE YOU, I DON’T HATE ANYONE I HATE YOU. WHY DO I HAVE TO CRY BECAUSE OF YOU AGAIN?????? I WAS DONE, WE WERE DONE AND NOW YOU HAVE ME CRYING BECAUSE EVERYTHING YOU SAID WAS A LIE AND YOU WERE SUCH A BITCH TO ME AND YOU FUCKING FWIREHBQRGWCNRUVBOSDFHAVBJGBUASDNOwecvudnweguvoehuf vabnfvhas nzixh
…fuck this shit. just. fuck it all. i give up on people, they gave up on me…
I was happy today.
love,
JTD
i want you to talk to me first. this is a short one, i might add more later but for now this is it.
Love,
JTD
p.s. when i have to talk to you about him it makes me cry. half because you are going for him, and half because as long as i think he can make you happy, i’m going to help you choose to get closer to him. it hurts me so much though.
p.s.s. i lied to you about it hurting, because i’d rather hurt than let you hurt. like i said before, i put how i really feel on here.
The reason i put stuff on here instead of talking to you about them isn’t because i don’t want to talk or anything, it’s that i don’t want to be a bother. that’s usually what i feel like when you aren’t involved with our conversations much. but i wouldn’t just tell you that, hence why i put it on here. so when you want to know what’s really going on in my head that i refuse to tell you, go on here. i told you you’re welcome to check it if you tell me. i won’t delete anything just because you’re getting on, i’ll just be prepared to explain it all to you. but i digress. i put things here for you to see, whoever you are that’s reading this, to show that i’m still sane enough to understand how i feel. so whoever reads this, maybe this could be said to you. but you know who you are Friend, so you can ask me about stuff, or you can read this and understand a lot more. i know you’re smart enough to figure all this out. Love, JTD
Please see how much i care. Please realize that i would go through hell for you, not because i like you, but because i care about you so much. you are one of my best friends, i can talk to you about anything. but when you say you don’t even know me anymore, that’s when i want to give up. i did what i did, can’t change it, but you will forgive me, we both know it. its just, i care abuot you more than other people and more than myself. i wish i could have only been your friend like this and never had feelings for you. i wish i could be the friend i was before. people change, and i changed back. i saw how horrible i was and chose to not be that way again. i know you care about me a lot, and i know you want me happy, but it’s not your job to make me happy. it’s not your job to make me feel guiltier than i already do either though. you can be my friend, tell me it was messed up and that i shouldn’t act that way again, but that guilt was from someone that seemed to care more than a little. you know i love you and i want you as my friend always, and you said you want me as your friend too. so when i see you with him like that, it hurts ya, but i’d rather you smile with him and hurt me than make me feel that way again. saying that you didn’t know who i was anymore was just so painful that you don’t know. but i digress. this was about how i feel, and it’s more complicated than i can explain so i’ll try and summarize this all up. i’m sorry. there’s no universal way to show a sincere apology, so words have to do, i can’t look you in the eyes and expect you to forgive me but i can say it as much as i need to, i always mean it when i say it. i’m sorry.
Love,
JTD
